I know. I’ve been neglectful of this blog recently. Lots of reasons. Many many things happening. Much of it good. Some moodiness. Some sad/challenging. I suppose life is happening.
First things first – I connected with a dive shop here. I was pretty uncertain that they were going to have any interest/need. When I first spoke with them (prior to going to Ecuador), they told me they have more than 25 dive professionals on staff, but that it might be worth their time to talk with me. After I returned from Ecuador, and after attending the Handicapped Scuba Instructor training, I got back in touch with them. They had me in for an informational meeting. The reality is that they don’t need me. They have more than enough people already. But, I think a couple things helped me: we have a friend in common (not trying to down myself here, but stuff like this can matter sometimes), I’m a therapist in “real” life, I am certified to teach diving to those with disabilities, I absolutely love diving (it would be hard to be around me, and not feel this), and I’m flexible (i.e., I’m willing to try to get extra certifications, I’m willing to dive in a lake in the middle of winter and my schedule is flexible). So, they decided to try me out. I spent a weekend in a pool with several other instructors and a bunch of students – and I got the thumbs up. So, I’m signed on now. And, I couldn’t be happier. I know, diving in a pool or in a lake in Virginia cannot REALLY compare to diving in the Caribbean, but, it is still pretty damn awesome. Helping someone learn how to breathe underwater for the first time, is pretty fricking cool.
Second – I’ve been working a lot of my professional website. It’s not quite finished, but it’s pretty close. This is necessary, because my of what I want to do “professionally” requires that I have this up and running. What do I want to do professionally? Well, I’m trying to increase my number of therapy clients. Thus far, I’ve about doubled my original count; however, I’d like to increase it a bit more. I also have been working solely with veterans while doing private practice. I think I’d like to start working with non-veterans a bit as well. I also am hoping to expand into doing some couples and some group sessions. Moreover, I think you know I’ve been wanting to start retreats. I actually pulled the trigger to book a place to host a retreat – but, it seems that having a website where people can go and see what I do and who I am might be useful. Finally, I’ve been considering offering trainings to those in “helping” professions on working with people with trauma. We shall see. But, seeing as the first step is really getting a marketing tool together – a website is the first step!
Third, I’ve been trying to spend some time with my father. This sounds simple, but unfortunately, my father lives about three hours from me. Thus, going to visit him is an all-day event. It is important to me, however. I think he appreciates it.
Fourth, I’ve been exploring ways to enjoy my environment. One thing I really love about DC is that we have really beautiful (and large) parks. I try to make sure to get out and walk in them (or when I’m in better shape, ride my bike or run). Recently, I have done some long 10-mile walks. That’s been nice. It’s meditative and a good way to get out in nature.
I’ve had a realization recently. I realized I absolutely love plays! Now, I hadn’t seen a play in probably 10 years. I could probably count the plays I’ve seen in my adulthood on my hands (maybe even on one hand). But, since I got back from Roatan in June, I’ve seen 1776, Moulin Rouge, Wicked and Evita. I’m scheduled to see another in December. I can’t believe I’ve lived in a place that has a large swath of venues for plays to choose from, and I haven’t taken advantage of it. I’m trying to change that now. In addition, I’ve been trying to get to museums, and spend time walking through the city. How often in life do we take the time to do it? I’ve been trying. Honestly, when it comes to environmental wellness, I’ve been totally ignoring the fact I live in a city. But, since being back I’ve been a bit more mindful of trying to take advantage of city life.
Also, this might go without saying – but, I’ve been trying to spend time with my boyfriend. One thing I noticed at the beginning of the pandemic was that I’d get frustrated with him for interrupting my work. Then I realized that at the end of the day, he is the most important part of my life. Why in the world would I not prioritize him? I’ve made an effort to do so (although I’m not perfect here – but, that’s been my goal). It’s a bit bizarre that I had been thinking of him as a “distraction” from work. It’s unbelievable how we have been programmed to think that way, sometimes!
Oh other fun news – for my birthday this past spring, my sister bought me tickets to go see Trevor Noah. So, a couple weeks back, we went to his show. I don’t know about you, but I just find him delightful. I could listen to him all day.
In other news, I had two deaths in my family. That is always hard. But, it’s also life.
And, well, I was asked to return to Roatan for a month. Now, I have to be honest. I’ve had very mixed feelings about returning right now. Roatan feels a bit like a distraction. It feels, in some ways, like I’m trying to hold on to my past. I’m not working (at least in any significant capacity) at the dive shop here – I’m essentially cat-sitting. Don’t get me wrong, I love those cats. And, if I’m honest, the resort where I worked has webcams up. I’ve been stalking them for the past month. I like to watch the captains and divemasters load up the boats; and I like to watch them drive off taking people on their dives. I secretly wave at them, and laugh to myself at the things that have happened before. You all know I love the diving in Roatan, but it’s really the people who make it feel like home (the resort even has shirts that essentially say this). But, is this where I’m supposed to be? I honestly don’t know. But, while I’m here, I’m going to do my best to take advantage of it. Do I see a life without Roatan? No. I don’t see that. I just don’t know how it all fits together.
So – where does this leave me? Who knows? I still feel pulled in a thousand directions. I’ve still be angsty and feeling like isolating. I haven’t seen much of my friends in the past two months. But, I sort of feel like pieces are slowly snapping together. It’s difficult to know for certain what the moves are – but, I’ve been just trying to listen to my soul. Several times, I’ve thought about (and looked at) applying for jobs. Slowly I come to the realization that I don’t want that right now. But, it’s tempting.
So, my friends, what am I trying to say? Baby steps. I’ve been taking baby steps. I may walk in circles sometimes, but there is a slow circuitous route forward. I’m on it.
How is journey today? Are you following your dreams or just moving along in life?
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